Gen-Xers

People make mistakes.  It’s part of our nature.  We’re only human, right?

But what if some of the mistakes we make could have been prevented by more or different interactions with our parents?

For example, young people today (17, sometimes younger, up to about age 32) don’t spend enough “quality time” with their parents.  Period.  It’s a well-known fact.  Why?  Well, a couple of big reasons:

1)  Mommy and Daddy want to be friends with little Jane or little Johnny.  You read that right… friends.  Not friendly.  Friends.  And even better if they are best friends.  BFFs, if you will.

2)  Mommy and Daddy are so busy making a name for themselves online (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and so on) that the little ones, Janey and Johnny, fall by the wayside and become victims by neglect. 

You cannot, and should not be friends with your children until they become adults.  Cannot and should not.  Why?  Because friends don’t tend to set boundaries or guidelines for each other.  It’s just not something they do.  On that rare occasion when we “call someone out” on bad/annoying/rude behavior, that’s a different story.  Parents, on the other hand, should always set boundaries and guidelines for their children.  Always.  We have rules for a reason:  Safety.  Pretty much the same reason we have laws:  Safety.

The online time?  Well, that’s an easy one.  Put down the iPhone / tablet / Smartphone, or whatever handheld device you have, turn it off (not on vibrate or silent mode), and actually talk to and be present with your children.  I don’t know how many times during the day that young people just don’t talk to each other.  They are so focused on posting a Status Update to their Facebook pages, or uploading their latest Selfies to Facebook/Instagram, so focused that they just missed that flock of geese actually flying in a “V” formation, just like they learned about in school.  From a book, most likely.

I don’t know how many times I’ve been on the commuter train here in Portland (aka Max trains) and been inundated by strollers with crying babies wanting, no requiring attention from mommy.  Seems like it is usually the mommy.  But, nope, mommy can’t be bothered to actually put down her device (Smartphone, iPod, etc.) and pick up her crying little one because the device is sooo much more important.  Seriously?  You actually gave birth, in most cases, to that little one and you can’t take 5 minutes to actually pick him/her up for some cuddling.  Wow.

Another thing not completely unrelated:  No.  That’s right. The word no.  Young people are so entitled and arrogant these days, it’s as if mommy and daddy never used the word “No” in their kid’s presence.  Just let little Janey or Johnny do whatever she/he wants with no consequences.  As young adults (again 17 to early 30s) that translates into arrogant and entitled behaviors. 

They expect to be treated a certain way because that’s how their parents always treated them.  Always “Yes”, and never, “No.”  And it doesn’t have to be shouted at the little ones, but it does have to be said like you mean it.  It can’t be, “No, you can’t do that. LOL”. Nope, a kid will see right through that and milk it for all it’s worth. 

“No” has to have some punch behind it, some firm force so that the child gets the message the first time.  Oh, and in front of the child, not from across the room, “Don’t make me come over there!”  You get the idea.

I’ve heard from some young people and their parents that these young people are, “only trying to assert themselves on the world.”  Asserting oneself is one thing, but the ways in which they are doing so make them come across as arrogant, rude, and entitled… in no particular order. 

My advice, and it seems to be catching on, is this:  Disconnect from your devices, log OUT of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and so on, and actually talk to each other and the adults in the world. 

And, YES, as a matter of fact, you will survive without Facebook and the other sites just fine.  No one has ever died as a result of leaving Facebook/Twitter/Instagram.  EVER.

We’re Completely, Absolutely Entitled

It’s a pretty sad state of affairs, actually, but it’s also absolutely true.  We’re entitled. Absolutely and completely.  As a nation, we’re better than everyone and anyone else on the planet, and we make no bones about telling anyone who’ll listen.

Don’t believe me, just open up your web browser and go to just about any site.  You’ll find people displaying bad behaviors and then getting upset at being called out about it.

You’ll see people shouting at workers in drive-through windows at a fast food place, people shouting at customer service people on the phone, people punching and beating each other up, and then posting videos of these atrocities online.  All of this because we can, not because we should, but because we can.

Inside, we feel like we have to.  It’s our duty.  We’ve been “wronged” by this other person and we have to let the entire planet know about it. 

We upload videos and audio clips, pictures, graphics, just anything we can in our desperate attempt to get back at this person for what he/she did to us.

We’re so livid, and so angry, and so pissed off that we don’t take time to think about whether or not we should.

And it’s way beyond just entitlement.  It’s to the point of flat-out stupid behavior. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

“But what do I do about this?”

That’s a very good question, actually, and the possibilities are limitless. 

One solution is to simply stop using that service, or retail store, or whatever the business happens to be.  

There was a news report on TV recently that sited the number of times a “typical” American teenager posts to the most popular sites online, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. 

Facebook status updates:              50 in one hour.

Instagram “selfie” uploads:           600 in one hour. 

Twitter updates:                             75 in one hour.

This was just for one teenage girl.  What did her mother have to say about it?

“Well, I tried to stop her.  I took her cell phone away, but she just got on her iPad and did it anyway.  So, I took that away and she got on her computer.  What can I do?  I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

Wow, really??  My suggestion is to take those things away and have her earn them back.  One at-a-time, and then you, her parent, monitor everything she does with those devices.  Parenting is not a spectator sport.  It is, however, one in which you actively participate.  Daily. Hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute.

Now, not being a “user” on any of these sites, I can only assume that there must be a fire somewhere in which those teens are involved, otherwise, why the “need” to post pretty much the same information on those particular sites over a sixty minute period?

Instagram is the one where you’d post pictures, selfies, if you will.  600 in one hour though?  Yeah, that seems a bit excessive.  I mean, really, does one physically change that much in one hour?  Now, I could understand, particularly with teenage girls, if you’d just gotten your hair or nails done and you wanted to share that with your friends, sure, it almost makes sense.

Facebook status updates. Hmm, not sure about the “need” for these at all. 

Got up.  Went to bathroom.  No movement this morning; will try again in an hour.  Having coffee. Cat scratched me for “stealing” the newspaper from her.  (Note to self:  No kitty treats for Ms. Fluffie this afternoon.)  Ha! Even I don’t find updates that interesting.

Twitter?  Aren’t those just text messages from mobile devices that go through a server at the Twitter Offices in Cupertino, California?  Hardly seems worth it just to let a third party read your private texts.  Unless, of course, they’re “sexts”.  That would almost be worthwhile.  (Oh, wait.  Teens are already sending each other nude pictures through Instagram.)

It’s one thing to report bad behaviors of a certain nature (inappropriate behaviors from wait staff, or a sales clerk), but to then publicly shame that person on social media for the entire planet to see.  Yeah. Wow. Way overboard.

Step back, and take a deep breath.  Count to 10, because I’m telling you, in 10 years, hey, in 5 years, none of those rants and nasty comments and explicit videos or audio clips will matter to anyone, anywhere.   Remember the "Yer gettin' a Dell, dude?"  Yeah, me neither.  Or "Alex-From-Target"? 

But, those things could very well get your fired from your job.  It’s happened, more often that you think.  Employers absolutely follow your activity on social media.  And some even, DO, have eyes in the back of their heads.

So, just perhaps, the next time you feel like going off on someone “just to prove a point”, the next time you’re about to press “Send” in order to upload that video to YouTube, step back and breathe.

Bottom line:  It’s probably not worth it.