People make mistakes.
It’s part of our nature. We’re only human, right?
But what if some
of the mistakes we make could have been prevented by more or different
interactions with our parents?
For example, young people today (17, sometimes younger, up
to about age 32) don’t spend enough “quality time” with their parents. Period.
It’s a well-known fact. Why? Well, a couple of big reasons:
1) Mommy and Daddy
want to be friends with little Jane
or little Johnny. You read that right… friends. Not friendly. Friends.
And even better if they are best friends. BFFs, if you will.
2) Mommy and Daddy
are so busy making a name for themselves online (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
Tumblr, and so on) that the little ones, Janey
and Johnny, fall by the wayside and become victims by neglect.
You cannot, and should not be friends with your children until they become adults.
Cannot and should not. Why? Because friends don’t tend to set boundaries
or guidelines for each other. It’s just
not something they do. On that rare
occasion when we “call someone out” on bad/annoying/rude behavior, that’s a
different story. Parents, on the other
hand, should always set boundaries
and guidelines for their children.
Always. We have rules for a
reason: Safety. Pretty much the same reason we have
laws: Safety.
The online time?
Well, that’s an easy one. Put
down the iPhone / tablet / Smartphone, or whatever handheld device you have,
turn it off (not on vibrate or silent
mode), and actually talk to and be
present with your children. I don’t
know how many times during the day that young people just don’t talk to each
other. They are so focused on posting a
Status Update to their Facebook pages, or uploading their latest Selfies to Facebook/Instagram, so
focused that they just missed that flock of geese actually flying in a “V”
formation, just like they learned about in school. From a book, most likely.
I don’t know how many times I’ve been on the commuter train
here in Portland
(aka Max trains) and been inundated by strollers with crying babies wanting, no
requiring attention from mommy. Seems like it is usually the mommy. But, nope, mommy can’t be bothered to
actually put down her device (Smartphone, iPod, etc.) and pick up her crying
little one because the device is sooo
much more important. Seriously? You actually gave birth, in most cases, to
that little one and you can’t take 5 minutes to actually pick him/her up for
some cuddling. Wow.
Another thing not completely unrelated: No.
That’s right. The word no. Young people are so entitled and arrogant
these days, it’s as if mommy and daddy never
used the word “No” in their kid’s presence.
Just let little Janey or Johnny do whatever she/he wants with no
consequences. As young adults (again 17
to early 30s) that translates into arrogant and entitled behaviors.
They expect to be
treated a certain way because that’s how their parents always treated them. Always
“Yes”, and never, “No.” And it doesn’t
have to be shouted at the little ones, but it does have to be said like you
mean it. It can’t be, “No, you can’t do
that. LOL”. Nope, a kid will see
right through that and milk it for all it’s worth.
“No” has to have some punch behind it, some firm force so
that the child gets the message the first time.
Oh, and in front of the child,
not from across the room, “Don’t make me come over there!” You get the idea.
I’ve heard from some young people and their parents that
these young people are, “only trying to assert themselves on the world.” Asserting
oneself is one thing, but the ways in which they are doing so make them come
across as arrogant, rude, and entitled… in no particular order.
My advice, and it seems to be catching on, is this: Disconnect from your devices, log OUT of
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and so on, and actually talk to each other and
the adults in the world.
And, YES, as a matter
of fact, you will survive without Facebook and the other sites just fine. No one has ever died as a result of leaving
Facebook/Twitter/Instagram. EVER.
