White House Correspondents' Dinner 2026 Scam/Hoax/Setup/Punchline

 Many, MANY in MAGA WORLD are already going into full-speed-ahead conspiracy theory mode about how "is was a set up", or "a staged event", which I have to say, smells familiar and extremely plausible given Trump's remarks shortly after being ushered back to the White House:

“What happened last night is exactly the reason that our great Military, Secret Service, Law Enforcement and, for different reasons, every President for the last 150 years, have been DEMANDING that a large, safe, and secure Ballroom be built ON THE GROUNDS OF THE WHITE HOUSE,” Trump posted to Truth Social Sunday.

“This event would never have happened with the Militarily Top Secret Ballroom currently under construction at the White House. It cannot be built fast enough! While beautiful, it has every highest level security feature there is plus, there are no rooms sitting on top for unsecured people to pour in, and is inside the gates of the most secure building in the World, The White House,” the president wrote.

In the news conference following the shooting, Trump pushed for his project, saying, “This is why we have to have all of the attributes of what we’re planning at the White House … It’s actually a larger room, and it’s much more secure. It’s drone-proof. It’s bulletproof glass. We need the ballroom. That’s why Secret Service, that’s why the military are demanding it.”

The 90,000-square-foot ballroom that’s being built atop the former East Wing is necessary for hosting large state events, Trump has said. 
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This is how CNN covered it:

CNN - White House Correspondents' Dinner 2026 

 A couple of things here:
1) Donald, if you really didn't want to go, you easily could have stayed home and ordered-in DoorDash again.
2) You're STILL NOT GETTING your 90,000 square foot ballroom over the hole-in-the-ground where The East Wing used to be.

 

You're going to have to let that one go. Sorry, Chunky. 

 

Easter 2026?

Easter egg hunts, chocolate bunnies, pastel dresses with bows, the Easter Bunny.

Ah, Easter morning 2026... and then this from, well, you know who:

Our former allies apparently aren't stepping in quickly enough to save his sorry ass, so he's going to rain down fire & fury on Iran the same way he threatened to do with the Supreme Leader of North Korea several years ago.  Yeah, that went well, too. 

Still no end in sight. Still no exit strategy or even "concepts of an exit strategy."

Nothing. Zero. Zip. Nada.

 

 

But then what would you expect from a tired, sagging old, sack of poop?  
Maybe Marco or Pete or JD can change his diaper.  
It's probably well past time. 

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UPDATE TUES. APR. 7,2026

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Trump pulls a T.A.C.O.

He put a two week "moratorium" on any more activity in the region so that Iran could "reconsider" its position.  ( Yeah, like that's gonna happen! )

Now What, Donald?

So, because you have ZERO attention span, you thought it would be a good idea to just start bombing Iran. 

You know IF, Donald, IF you really are not listed anywhere in the "Epstein Files", why not insist, demand that YOUR Department of Justice, A.G. Pam Bondi, box up all those files and hand deliver all of that stuff to Congress?  WHY NOT DO THAT, DONALD?

Why not?  Because you know damn well,  you're all over them files.

To make matters worse, what did Brainiac, I mean, Donald have the military do in the Gulf region?  Remove any and all mine-sweeper ships that searched the ocean floor for mines, bombs that would disable or destroy oil tankers entering or attempting to leave through the Strait of Hormuz. 

Slick, sleazy move there, Tex. 

These are the bombs that Iran placed in the area to take out or disable those oil tankers:

Traffic in and out of the gulf region presently:

And as if all of this mess wasn't enough, Donald was on the phone recently to other world leaders, mostly in Europe, begging, pleading with them, to please, PLEASE help him get the Strait of Hormuz reopened.

Their responses were chilling at best. None were warm or welcoming and most offered nothing other than a, "Well, you started this. You finish it." 

 

You didn't have a plan to begin with.
You don't have an "exit strategy."
You wanted this.
Only YOU can fix this, Donald.
So, FIX IT. 

New Draft?

So, let me get this straight.  Donald is considering implementing a draft even though the United States isn't "officially" at war with Iran?

Right.

Recently the bodies of six service members were peacefully transferred back into the possession of the United States: 

• SGT. 1ST CLASS NICOLE AMOR, 39
• SGT. 1ST CLASS NOAH TIETJENS, 42
• SGT. DECLAN COADY, 20
• CAPT. CODY KHORK, 35
• CHIEF WARRANT OFFICER 3 ROBERT MARZAN, 54
• MAJOR JEFFREY O'BRIEN, 45

And while we thank them for their service, we also need to acknowledge that they never should have been there to begin with. PERIOD. FULL STOP.

This is how their Commander-in-Chief greeted them upon their return:

As always, Donald has to be the center of attention and as inappropriate as possible. Out of place, out of touch, out of his mind.

Just once it would be great if he'd read the room. 

Olde. Tyrde. Rotting. Filthye. Haggard.

Ye Olde Queen, Donald Josephine Trump.

Well, I suppose only a queen in the way he behaves: tantrums, pancake makeup everywhere, cankles, the endless "Sir " stories of behemoth men weeping and feigning the desire to kiss him. 

...Yeah, right.  Not even Melania wants to be near that.

Assembling everyone who will come and listen into His Throne Room, 'scuse me, The Oval Office where they see him scribble using his adorable Sharpie marker.  Worthy of being put of The White House refrigerator!

Might be an A.I. image, but it certainly looks real enough. When you see an actual picture of  him in his ill-fitting blue or black suit inside the White House and then on one of his golf courses in his white outfits, he's usually twice the size when he plays golf. You can't fake that! 

Something else to ponder, to think about, when you see closeups of Donald, and it doesn't matter the time of day or night, he has no 5 o'clock shadow. None.  I don't think anyone believes that he spends time meticulously prepping his face, applying shaving cream or anything else other than that tacky "Norwegian Bronze " slop every morning before he ascends from his chambers where he enjoys his "Executive Time."

And, no idea what he put on his hand that one time, but it looked a whole lot like putty paste you might put on a wall to prime it before painting. 😂

The "cankles", not a clue what's going on there other than maybe Donald isn't wearing her compression stockings?

This is the latest "thing going on " behind Donald's right ear. What is it?  Doctor's are speculating  that it's something pre-cancerous.  Speculating only because, like the general public, they don't trust the "official" White House physician either. Apparently, there was/is some scarring and blistering for which the White House doctor has prescribed a cream and knowing how vain Donald, I have no doubt he'll be applying it regularly and religiously in order to aid in the swift disappearance of this visual menace!  

Because you know, for Donald, looks ARE everything. 
Brains, not so much. 

Wishful Thinking?

Always the one to be "proactive " rather than the lazy, slovenly pig we know him to be, which is "inactive" , Donald, AGAIN, is feebly attempting to project strength and virility! 

And, NO, Donald, it's not working. 

What I find most humorous about this is that one day, likely very soon, he will once again be not only "the hunted" but the "impeached and imprisoned". 

I'm looking forward to that day.

But hey, lard-ass, YOU do YOU.