The “Mommy” Connection

It’s an incredibly strong bond, that of a mother and child.  Unbreakable. Amazing.  Truly remarkable.

Having this little life grow, develop inside of you, is well, nothing short of a miracle!

I was there for the conception, pregnancy and yes, even the birth of my son.  I cut his umbilical cord.  His grandma, Alice, almost got stuck in the room.  She was over by the window, rosary beads in hand, reciting the rosary when the call went out for, “All hands on deck!”

The equipment started rolling in and Grandma Alice slipped quietly out into the hallway.

I remember we were watching Wheel Of Fortune, and the puzzle was (I kid you not!) 

“ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE”.  Rather fitting.

But, I digress.

The Mother/Child bond is an amazing thing, one that fathers, try as they may, will simply never achieve.  The best we fathers can hope for is a loving friendship with our children once they become adults. 

Until then we love them, guide them, nurture them, hold their hands walking down the street and in crosswalks, remind them to eat their vegetables, and wash behind their ears.  (Moms are usually the ones who remind us to always have on clean underwear!)

My own parents divorced when I was very young, about 6 years old.  My father had some personal issues (“indiscretions” we would call them nowadays), and he wanted out of his marriage so bad that he not only moved across town, he moved to another state.

My mother remarried rather quickly, within 2 years, and our stepfather took us in, and accepted us as though we’d been family all along.  He provided us with a nice, modest home ( a ranch-style house on 2 acres of old growth timber) and just generally a wonderful, wonderful life.

My brothers, aunts, uncles and cousins, grandparents and I lost our beloved friend, sister, daughter and mother early in 1977 to lung cancer, just shy of her 45^th birthday.

40 years ago this year was our last Christmas with her.  Every year at this time it gets harder and harder.  So many hopes, joys, laughs, tears, good times and bad that we’ve all wanted to share with her that we haven’t been able to.

She, mother, Mom, brings us into this world, shows us unconditional love, hope, encouragement, a guiding hand, a warm embrace and that gentle little nudge forward out of the nest.

Author, on left; my Mother, Barbara; younger brother, Dan, 

and older brother, Barney, far right.

Childhood Memories

Me, and My Two Brothers, circa 1967

I think the Christmases of our youth, when we're young and the world is a new and exciting place, those are the ones we remember the most.  We're young, happy, we have our families, pets, friends around us... those days are filled with joy and anticipation.  

Waking up early, running out to the living room, marveling at the Christmas tree and all the goodies Santa Claus had left us while we slept.  Magical!  Mom and Dad would stumble out of their bedroom, half awake, half asleep and trudge to the kitchen to make coffee for themselves and hot cocoa for us kids.

We dared not even touch our stockings, hung by the chimney with care of course, as it was all part of our family's tradition to do every little thing like that together.  We weren't even allowed to open all of our presents because we had to wait for our Grandma and Grandpa to arrive from across town.

Coincidentally, they actually did live over the river and through the woods.  Well, not actually woods per se, but lots of neighborhoods!

My younger brother, Danny, got a bright red fireman's helmet with a built-in speaker and microphone.  I remember what fun he had running around making fire engine sounds through the speaker... until my Mom told him he needed to take his fun outside.

I don't remember a whole lot from those days gone by, but mostly how warm, cozy, and happy we all felt just being there with our Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, and yes, even my two brothers.

It was truly a magical, joyous time of the year, one that I've held dear to my heart ever since.

Merry Christmas Dan & Barney!

And a wonderful New Year to you and your families!