Love Is For The Young Ones...

Love is for the young ones,                      

The innocent and sweet.

If you should get lucky, he’ll

Sweep you off your feet.

When I came out so long ago,

I yearned to feel some love;

I don’t know what I’d done wrong, just

Wanted help from above.

Every day and everywhere,

I see young guys in pairs.

If I try to do those things, I

Get only disapproving stares.

Oh, love is for the young ones,

The innocent and sweet;

If you should get lucky, he’ll

Just sweep you off your feet.

When I go out for a walk,

In any part of town;

I see happy young gay boys,

It really brings me down.

That’s the kind of love I want,

A yearning deep inside;

I try to put up a happy front,

But get taken for a ride.

Oh, love is for the young ones, 

The innocent and sweet.

If you should get lucky, someday

He’ll sweep you off your feet.

Happiness Is A Warm Blanket... And My Smartphone.

 It seems as though we just can’t leave our homes without this particular security blanket. 

Some folks even go as far as to say that they can’t “survive” without it.  How did we get to this place?  And how do we get back home?

Oh sure, they’re handy little devices for helping us form some sort of order out of the chaos that is our lives, but really, how did we get to this place?

Many young people have isolated themselves to the point where they can’t talk to strangers on the bus, or the commuter train without their Smartphone in their hands.  Why is that?  Well, it’s simple, really.  They require some sort of security, something that makes them feel safe. 

Has the world really gotten that bad?   Well, yes, in some areas it has. 

It saddens me greatly when I see young people in their 20s and 30s standing together in a group of what appears to be their friends, and they’re all looking down at their devices.  Not talking, not sharing a laugh, not enjoying the blue sky, the flowers, the trees, nope, none of that. 

What are they doing?  Punching the keys and internal keyboards and number pads of their devices, send text messages to one another.  Not a word, not a sound uttered.

And again, how did we get to this point?  Mommy and Daddy never, not once talked to these kids when the kids were very young, therefore, the kids (now adults, well, in theory) don’t know how to talk to other adults.  It’s that simple. 

Does a finger need to be pointed?  Yes, in fact, it does.  If a young person has earbuds in his ears and a smartphone in his hands, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s multitasking and listening to music and texting at the same time.  Usually, it means he doesn’t want to talk to anyone, but rather just text his friends.  Mindless?  Well, yes, obviously.

Why not put the smartphone down at talk?  Because it means interaction with another, unknown adult, the ones that Mommy and Daddy told him not to talk to.  Again, big mistake.  Is this true 100% of the time for 100% of the young people? No, only 95%.

See, when he was very young, his Mommy and Daddy wanted to bring him up “right”, not the way they were raised.  That means, Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t allow him or make him do anything he didn’t want to do because they didn’t want to deal with tantrums, crying, sobbing, cleaning under his fingernails if he happened to get in the mud, and so on.  Therefore, Junior didn’t really get to be a kid and live.  Hmm, do you see a pattern here??

I don’t own a smartphone; never have, and never will.  That’s by my own design.

Is it too late for this generation?  No, there’s still hope, but they need to retrain themselves to actually put down their devices and make an effort to engage other adults.

Are the devices to blame?  No, the kids just need to use some discretion, some self-restraint, some will-power.  Otherwise, the next generation will be born completely mute and be unable to talk.  Well, maybe not the next generation, but it will happen in time.

So, yes, the next time you leave the safe, comfort of your home, your domain, your boy- or girl-cave, rethink leaving your smartphone at home and taking one small step.  I promise you the world will continue to revolve around the sun, and rotate on its axis.  (It’s a science-y term.  Google it!)

Don’t Take Me With You To The Store

This particular piece came about as the result of noticing more and more often people, mostly women, bringing their dogs into grocery and retail stores.  Once inside, it's as though these dog owners became oblivious to their surroundings, allowing the furry little charges to wander freely and use and abuse these establishments with urine, food scraps, and droppings.  Yes, very disgusting.

(See my other piece pertaining to Service Animals, Companion Animals, and Pets.

Once I figure out how, I'll upload an audio clip so that you can hear and enjoy it.

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To all of those puppies and doggies out there whose mommies and daddies should be embarrassed walking us through the supermarket, this is for you.

Don’t take me with you to the store,

As you talk on your phone, it’s me you ignore.

No, don’t take me with you to the store,

I’m happy to stay home and sleep upon the floor!

No, don’t take me with you when you go,

Those are places that I simply do not know.

So, don’t take me with you as you leave,

I’ll gladly stay at home and give you some reprieve!

Don’t take me with you to the store,

The aisles are so long, that I get bored.

No, don’t take me with you to the store,

I’d rather stay at home and practice how to snore!

Please, don’t take me with you down the deli aisle,

You’ll be the only one wearing a smile;

Don’t leave me outside, or trapped inside your car,

I’ll just stay at home and laugh at Jamie Farr!

Yay, Klinger!!

I’ll just stay at home and laugh at Jamie Farr! Hey!

Kindergarten Kapers!

Head lice and the Salon Treatment

One of the very fun parts about teaching is that you get to meet so many really nice, cool people, both adults and children.  Some of the children grow up to be Afghan war heroes, some grow up to be Receptionists at local car dealerships, some grow up to be famous authors and artists, and still others grow up to be that which they aspired to be in Kindergarten… a worker at the local Dairy Queen.

This particular story doesn’t involve any of those children, even though those kids actually were students of mine at one time or another.

No, in this story, children are involved, but it also includes one of my very favorite people, a Kindergarten teacher named Leslie; we called her, “Lester.”

Head lice are rampant in any school setting, public or private.  There’s just no escaping it, no matter how many times you bathe and wash your hair.

It’s just a fact of life, like taxes and love.

On this particular day we were told by our building principal that we needed to briefly discuss a parent letter that was to be sent home that afternoon.  The letter contained information about which treatments worked best, how long to leave the formula on your child’s scalp, checking for nits, eggs, and so on.  Pretty straight-forward stuff.

The following day, wouldn’t ya know it; two bright-eyed youngsters came hopping and skipping into Leslie’s classroom ready for a big day of fun and learning.  Following the morning announcements, the children gathered in a circle at the front of the room to briefly chat about last night and what they were going to learn that day. 

The topic of head lice came up and the group had a very lively discussion.  No sooner did the little ones break into their usual groups then two girls, we’ll call them Janey and Sally, decided they needed to go use the restroom.

They were gone for what seemed like hours, but were actually only out of the classroom for about 10 minutes.  When they returned, both Janey and Sally, holding hands, skipped into the room.

Leslie, turned, and just gasped.  She was beside herself. 

Her two young charges had taken a shampoo bottle into the restroom, dampened their hair and put what appeared to be a half cup of shampoo into each other’s hair.  Oh, and they worked it into a good lather, too!

Poor Leslie.  You could tell she was just fuming.  Her eyes got big, nostrils flared, and she glared at the two little darlings.

“We do not shampoo our hair at school!!!”

Well, as you can imagine, the smiles instantly left Janey’s and Sally’s faces as they were marched over to the sink where they took turns holding their heads down and having the shampoo rinsed out.  They were each given a rather large handful of paper towels to use for drying their hair.

Thankfully for our two young hooligans, the weather was nice that day, and yet they still left the room for recess with their heads hung low.

Their mommies were less-than-thrilled about their girls at-school beauty salon experience, and assured Leslie that there wouldn’t be a repeat of this little stunt any time soon!

I’m Not Very Worldly…

I’m not very worldly,

I’m not very cool,

I’m not very sharp,

But quite often the fool.

I could do better,

I could try more,

I could be someone,

But get kicked to the floor.

I’m not much to look at,

Not the least debonair,

I often get tongue-tied,

And easily scared.

(*)

Love me because you want to,

Love me because you can.

Love me because I’m important to you,

Love me because I’m your man.

I’m not very worldly,

I’m not very cool,

I’m not very sharp,

But quite often the fool. (*)

(second time through)

And never, ever a tool.

Service Animals, Companion Animals, and Pets

At what point did some genius decide that, sure, it’s okay for dogs and cats to come into the grocery store with me?

Oh, sure, we love out pets as though they were family members, but they are still animals.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a Service animal, Companion animal, or a pet.

No, it’s not okay, and in fact, it is a terrible idea.  Do you not have a single clue as to the germs that canines carry?

The grocery store incident actually happened, one morning in early December, 2013. 

I was strolling down the aisles, pushing my cart and noticed a 40ish woman and her white, fluffy dog.  Oh, yes, the dog was on a leash, but I couldn’t believe how casual the woman was, as though bringing Poopsie (that’s not the dog’s real name) with her to the store was the most natural thing in the world.

I asked her why the dog was with her, and why she’d felt the need to bring her dog into the store.

“He’s lonely, and I didn’t want him to be alone.”

I suggested leaving him at home, tying him up outside the store, or leaving him with a trusted friend.

“Oh, no, I could never do that.  He’s my baby.” 

I moved on because I could see that she was too far gone with her dog. 

I came across not one, not two, but four more women with various sized dogs, all on leashes (the dogs, not the women) during my shopping trip.  I tried to have similar conversations with them, simply pointing out that hygienically, this was a bad idea on their parts.  I shrugged my shoulders, gave a heavy sigh, and just quickly finished my shopping.

So, who is really to blame here?  Well, first the irresponsible dog owners for thinking this was a good idea, but secondly, the politicians that wrote the A.D.A. law, prohibiting merchants from inquiring as to the nature of the animal in the first place.

Apparently, a store owner, transit (bus, light rail train) employee, and others are not allowed to “question” these animal owners as it might keep their disability status from being anonymous.

If you have a “Service” animal, it helps specifically with your disability, i.e., seeing-eye dogs, helper monkeys, and so on.

A “Companion” animal is specifically for aiding with your diagnosis, i.e., chronic depression, anxiety, etc.  Typically, these animals help calm the person down, and assist with those types of issues.

“Pets”, well, that’s a pretty easy one; these are the animals that we take into our lives and consider them to be family members.

Service animals provide a service for their owners.

Companion animals act as companions primarily for comfort.

Owners of both Service and Companion animals should be required to have a vest, collar, or other indicator on their animals at all times.  The only “stigma” associated with these are the ones that the owners of these animals place on themselves.

Think about others first.